Embracing Slow Ascension

"It took ya momma 9 months to make it, but it only took a n!gga 30 minutes to take it..."
-Big Boi, "Wheelz of Steel"

I brought up this line to bring up a point of course. Why is it always easier to destroy than to build? It takes buildings months to be built; seconds to be demolished. Trust can be earned over decades, lost in a moment, and take a lifetime to be restored. Wealth can be amassed with years of hard work, stolen in a fluke bank robbery, and never reattained, because even that which is amassed in the aftermath will still lack the wealth we held at the onset (thank God for FDIC right?)

...So, I'm trying to get my spiritual life back on track. In these early stages I'm having to do things like resurrender my ambitions and my will, then re-reconcile that with myself so that it doesn't feel like I'm cutting my arms and legs off. It kinda reminds me of when I was a kid and had to take medicine that tasted bitter, or when the dinner menu was filled with all a kid's favorites: brussel sprouts, liver, lima beans, and other such "tasty treats". I had this little technique I used in both instances; see, when I was a kid, I had GREAT lungs. So, in emergencies such as the aforementioned, I'd simply take a deep breath and scarf everything down; when you hold your breath, you can't taste anything. You've cleaned your plate/taken your medicine, nobody has anything to complain about, and you can go on about your bizness.

But you know, it's not quite that easy when it comes to spiritual things. Not that easy at all actually. When you regress spiritually, there's no fast-forward to put you back where you were. Because part of what got you to the place you were in the first place was the time you invested into it. You see, time itself is a test when it comes to spirituality. And it has to be that way.

Why? Think about it. It's like when girls play hard-to-get (mmmmAN I hate that). As stupid as it may seem to somebody like me, playing hard-to-get is a foolproof way to determine how bad somebody wants you (and might I add, it's also a foolproof way to make the guy wonder if YOU want HIM in return, so DON'T PUSH IT!) The guy jumps thru hoops and buys gifts and smooth talks until he's blue in the face; the mere fact that he wastes his time doing that means he's serious.

In much the same way, the dedication it takes to read your Bible daily, pray constantly, live what you learn, make Godly decisions, etc. is the determinant of your spiritual growth. There's no getting around that. It's a day-by-day ascension. Think about it like this: if it was a short process, then people would probably be more concerned about what they could get FROM God than what they should give TO God. Just like an easy woman: because she's easy, some (and take note, I did say SOME) men only approach her because they know they can get whatever they want from her without a struggle and be done with her. Seriously, be honest: if you could get easy blessings from God without going through the process of getting closer to Him, how many of you would skip to the blessings?

And so, as I made up in my mind that I need to get back in line with Him, I also understood that simply making that decision is only going to begin the process, not bring me to my original status. But I also realize the long journey ahead is not a "punishment" so much; it's a necessary thing I hafta go through to get my focus on the Blessor and not the blessings. I guess a slow ascension isn't such a bad thing; but it does provide incentive not to regress, I'll tell ya that.

Are We There Yet? B-\