...Sweet

Right now, at this very moment, I'm swamped...

Good.

Being swamped is the best possible scenario for me. Heck, the first song I ever recorded was called Swamp Rats; I'm in the zone when I'm in the thick of it. I'm in way over my head, and yet I'm so comfortable that there's virtually no sense of urgency.

Today, I had no plans. I woke up, lounged a bit. Next thing I knew, I had finished up three instrumental tracks and created a few new ones to work on. I wasn't even really thinking at the time, it just kinda... happened. And that's how I like things to be: I never like to rush or force anything. There always seems to come a right time to do things, and when that time comes, that's when things get done. And usually, they get done in the best way possible. That's just how I work.

Besides being swamped, I've been having so many dreams recently. I usually don't dream at all, but I've had a vivid dream every day so far for about 7-8 days now. And it's strange they weren't really telling me much; I was basically dreaming about friends, family, and old flames. But the simple fact that I was dreaming seems to have a message in itself. I feel something in the air, and I'm anxious to know what it is... But not too anxious.

Meanwhile, as I continue to spit out new music, I'm also in the middle of some entrepreneurial reading and writing preparation. You see, I was sharing some of my random ideas with my aunt, and she suggested I go to my old principal and talk to him; he's a liberal-minded, experienced, and musically talented person, so his advice might be invaluable. But before I did that, I decided to write my ideas out. As I reached the third page, I suddenly realized that I was looking at a business plan! All my random ideas configured themselves into a behemoth of a concept, and if I move quickly I believe I have the "capital" at this point to pull it off. I can visualize the beginning and basic structure of the venture, but even the expansions to come down the road are so clear to me. And it all seems very practical (Did I mention I love practicality?). Now to find the right people to make it happen...

Physically, I'm healthy right now. I'm eating right: beaucoup fruits and vegetables, only a little meat, and even eating yuck-arse oatmeal and drinking yuck-arse water with no flavor. I'm exercising a lot, copped some quad-skates to keep maself busy. Kickin' rhymes aloud as I go about the house because I'm looking forward to getting back on stage to perform, hopefully in front of a live, animated crowd of sorts (sorry, I rap to enlighten the masses, not to receive applause/critique from the intellectuals). And when I feel like it, I laugh. I had been watching a lot of comedy performances for the last few weeks, but it's dope to just laugh because you feel like laughing, ya know? Hold on to one funny thought and just laugh until you feel good, lol...

But, in spite of all the potential I see at the moment, I'm not gonna get amped or anything. I thank God for the blessings always; now is the time to focus and turn 5 talents into 10 (Biblical allusion). But I don't feel any pressure. Even now, mentally I'm barely aware of what's going on, and still it goes on, lol.

Before I go, saying all that just made me realize something... for the first time since my mom passed, I don't feel fluttery inside. When I go to sleep at night, I sleep with nothing on my mind but how good it feels to turn off the lights and let the pillow catch me. Mom told me all she wanted was for me to be happy, and I think I am that right now. Thanks Ma, and I Love You (you shoulda seen what your school did in your honor a week ago!)

Everythang is Sweet... B-J