Dreaming Of You

This is a... I guess you would call it a "what if" type thing. The idea hasn't really congealed even in my own mind yet, but bear with me, I think it will...

I found myself inspired to draw a picture today--- tonight, rather. A few homies were at the crib on the PS2 and the Net, but I was dead set on drawing something, ANYTHING. I took the liberty of making waste of a good sheet of paper, making random pencil scratches all over it trying to get an idea. But, truthfully, I already knew what I wanted to draw. I just didn't want to admit what was on my mind...

...Medium-length, dark hair drifting to the right and covering her shoulderblade, perhaps carried by a sea breeze. A thinly-strapped evening gown with an open back. Shapely curves outlining her silhouette. The faint hint of an earring dangling off her left ear. She has no face; her back is turned to the viewer as she gazes off the edge of a pier, or a ship maybe.... Even with her back turned, her glow rivals that of moon glancing off the dark waters before her.

...I really didn't wanna draw it; 'didn't really plan on it or anything. It just kinda came out. So, who is she? Well... I guess she's my dream girl. Somethin' like that.

There's something I've been saying to to the wind recently. I don't believe it myself, but it just seems like a quotable of sorts. Simply this: perhaps every guy in the world has a dream girl, and every girl has a dream guy (political correctness aside). And perhaps the only thing missing is the dream world that makes it possible for us to be with that dream person...

Like I said, I don't bank on that thought myself. But, you kinda feel me on the idea, don't you? I mean, I've felt that way many times. But at the same time, I'm also a dreamer, and I believe anything's possible. I'll tell you something funny I came across that stuck with me. I heard somebody say this recently: "a dream is a dream because it's not real; once it becomes real, you can't dream it anymore". Can you feel that? Hm...

I dunno. When I drew this picture, my homie Ken asked me, "Who is that?" I hesistated, then threw out the name of a special friend of mine; for the record, the special friend is same young lady from that "The Unforgettable Night" entry I wrote a while back. I used her name because, even though the girl really exists, she's also my "dream girl" in a way. How? Because we're so far apart in so many ways--- physically, spiritually, etc.--- that the likelihood of us ever getting together is slim and shady; but we love each other's company. What we have is a dream, basically.

But you know something? The girl in this picture, she's anyone, not just my special friend. Because the thing about having a dream person is you never obtain them; a dream you obtain isn't a dream anymore. So that dream person becomes somebody different from time to time, ya know? Maybe that's why my mind decided to draw her in such a way that her face isn't seen.

Even in my recent week of dreaming, I never saw the same face twice. The only commonality is that each face was the face of a person with whom I had no real relationship or contact outside of that dream. Still, that didn't make anything any less enjoyable; a sweet dream is a sweet dream. And a dream deferred is the only type of dream there is; anything more is no longer a dream, correct?

Of course, anyone wants his or her dreams actualized, even me. But, I think there's something to be said for the dreaming that preceeds the actuality. Especially since the actuality isn't promised; you never know when the dream is the closest you'll ever get to your wish. It sounds sad, I know. But there's a certain beauty to it when you look at it a certain way, eh? That's my dream girl; one day I might show you a portrait I did of her so you can see her for yourself.

I Think I'll Call It "Lightwave"... B-J