That Dog In Me...

I've been thinking about pitbulls all day; this morning I saw the cutest pitbull pup on a myspace video. He was rolling around underneath his mom, and the more she tried to get him to sit still, the more he rolled. I'm a dog person, lol...

But nah, that's not what I want to talk about. This post is called "That Dog In Me", but it's not about the playfulness or the loyalty or the cuteness (I can be cute too!) in dogs. And it's definitely not about me in relationships; I'm as far from a "dog" in that aspect as one can get, trust me.

There's a special trait in pitbulls that makes them unique, and it's not their ability to roll, brothas and sistas. Pit-bull... pits were once put into arenas with bulls and used to bring the bulls down. This is because pitbulls have some of the strongest jaws in the animal kingdom, designed to bite into something and lock on with no hope of release.

THAT's the dog in me.

My sister got on me one time; 'said if I don't watch out, I was gonna get an ulcer from being so "anti-this" and "anti-that". This post isn't me taking a shot at her at all, but if she participated in things from my side, she'd see them totally differently. Here's the thing: when a person chooses to take a stand, the ultimate weapon against him is... hypocrisy. In other words, some people in this world couldn't get mad at how things are even if they wanted to, because they've participated so much in making the world what it is that it would be a total contradiction; like turning on the air conditioner, then complaining about the cold; like smoking 6 packs a day, then complaining about the cancer; like voting Republican, then complaining about corporate America; like having unprotected sex, then complaining about the baby; like taking advantage of poor inner city minorities, then complaining about hip hop.

But me, I'm a dog; I'm a real pitbull. When I take a stance against something, I'm not gonna turn right around and cooperate with it; I lock my jaws, and it's gonna take something extreme to pry me off it. Here's my main chew toy: I'm a stickler about music. I don't get suckered by good beats; I know a good beat and a sorry lyricist when I hear them. I know a sorry beat and a good lyricist when I hear them. If I say something's commercial, weak, negative, hot garbage, I'm not gonna buy it. Period.

Now, I'm not as strong as I'd like to be; if the beat is good enough, every now and then I'll break down and download the track, Polow... most of the time just the instrumental, but if I can't find it, the whole track. But I haven't actually bought an album since... Speakerboxxx/The Love Below. And you don't wanna know how long it was before that... The reason why is because my $13.99 is $13.99 that: a) I would rather use to kill myself with fast food/ramen; b) will be used to support a bullsh!t movement but supporting a bullsh!t artist who makes bullsh!t music.

And no, record sales don't move me in the least, Nelly; cuz I know a lot of bullsh!t people that like bullsh!t. Hell, the majority of this country [allegedly] voted for Bush; so the majority of people got little to no sense in the first place, and the rest get suckered easily. Majority don't mean NUTHEENG to me.

You see that pitbull coming out? Once I decide to think a certain way, everything in my life has to fall in line with that. Because if a person can prove me to be a total hypocrite, it can suck the power outta my stance, feel me? The bite I put on things isn't necessarily in hatred or disdain; it's so that whatever I'm sinking my teeth into can't turn around and bite me back.

But here's the problem. Like a pit, I can get so into the bite that I don't know when it's time to let go. When you're like me, you forget that people can change and improve. You expect the worst from people, and when you see good, you often assume that it's just a front they're using to get you to loosen your grip. "Runaway Love" for instance... nice concept track; not buying it, Luda.

And usually, I'm right. Which doesn't help...

But every now and then people change, and it's a sincere change for the better. You gotta give 'em room. And even now, I sometimes hafta step outside of myself and say, "Let 'em go boy; it's alright, it's alright. Let 'em go." Nevertheless, the dog in me keeps an eye on the target. I don't expect it'll be long before I'm right back on the neck of whoever I eased up on. The mere fact that I'm ashamed to say who I'm easing up on is proof enough.


Now THAT'S Lockjaw B-J