The Worth of Beauty to THIS Man...

"Beauty is superficial." "Beauty is overrated." "Beauty is only skin-deep." "Beauty is vain."



(yawn...) I'm sorry, did you say something? There's nothing I hate more than somebody telling me something I already know...

Look, I'm a really good guy, if I do say so myself: beauty is not the most important thing when I look for a love interest. But I'd be a bold-faced lie if I said beauty didn't factor in. And no--- this time I AM talking about that surface beauty that we don't like to acknowledge as meaning anything.

It's funny that when we talk about beauty--- and let me be clear here, I'm talking about the beauty of WOMEN--- we always talk about what the beauty does for the woman. In other words, we always talk about beauty's role in netting a man; even when we include the fact that beauty won't KEEP him, we do acknowledge it will get his attention. But the thing we never talk about is what a woman's beauty does for the MAN. In other words, what is it about beauty that makes a difference to a man in the first place? After all, it's just a visual thing, right?...

I can't speak for all men, because if you know me, you know that I'm an odd cat. Most of the time my perspectives truly are MY perspectives. Well, here's my perspective on the worth of beauty to THIS man; I would say to men in general, but I simply can't.

Ladies, if I break this to you any other way, you'd probably take offense . So I'm gonna hit you with a true story or two:

I was at school the other day. Had a bad week. Crazy stress. I'm taking 5 upper level sociology classes, had my computer crash, eye irritation, car trouble, you name it. So I'm sitting in the computer lab at school, doing what I'm doing right now. And a beautiful girl walks by me. She doesn't say anything to me; I don't say anything to her. We do make eye contact though, and she smiles at me. Beautiful smile, beautiful eyes; couldn't help but smile back at her, ya know?...

'Very next day, I had a class, complete with a matching midterm. Saw the test and blanked out: I didn't feel like studying hard the night before, so I didn't. But I knew that I knew the answers because its an easy class and I paid attention. In walks the baddest girl in the class. She prolly didn't even notice me, but I definitely noticed her. And it was like magic; from that point, the answers came back to me, and I got to leave class early that day.

Now I'll give you the play-by-play. See, beauty is superficial; simultaneously, beauty does something to me. The very sight of something or someone beautiful soothes me. You know how people go into the beauty of nature, the woods after a rain or by the waterside or to a sunset, to relax and gather themselves? It's the same thing here; a woman's beauty calms me down inexplicably. I'm a person who enjoys beauty, period. And if you're a beautiful woman, it's no different.

I wrote a poem called "Apple Blossom" about a beautiful woman I saw. It was easy because both she and the blossom are things of similar beauty. And as I admired this woman and wrote, I was at peace, ya know? It's not like I'm marrying this lady; she's like 41/42 and on the West Coast somewhere. But even a picture from a thousand miles away and years in the past affects me every time I see it. There is substance and worth to beauty.

You may call me superficial, but what did I say? I merely said that beauty soothes me: vibrant eyes soothe me; graceful hair soothes me; dainty fingers soothe me; a shapely body soothes me; a inviting voice soothes me elegant (and eloquent) lips soothe me. I DID NOT SAY BEAUTY IS THE SOLE, OR EVEN A PRIMARY METHOD BY WHICH I JUDGE A WOMAN'S WORTH.

It reminds me of a friend of mine. When we first met, she told me that she was really into the smooth cocoa brothas. In case you've never seen me, I don't exactly fit that description; I'm more the light-brown/burned-red complexion (if I get angry, my skin lights a shade of red, lol) with a fairly arid texture. But then one day she told me that she wouldn't mind being with me at all if it were possible [it's a distance thing :-( ]. It left me confused, because I didn't fit her "preference". But then I realized she was just like me: a preference is just a preference, but not a cause for exclusion. She respected what she regarded as "most beautiful", but she also realized beauty had its place. (funny thing is... she's a friggin ex-model, Black and Dominican. Go figure, lol)

I mean c'mon... For me to require and demand that a woman be outstandingly beautiful by law, I'd have to be the pinnacle of manhood myself, wouldn't I? And don't get me wrong, I like myself... a lot. But my bet is that I'm not THAT guy; I'm THIS guy that I am, and that's all I am. Not to mention, beauty doesn't always last; yeah, a woman may be everything right now, but if she lives long enough, things change. (Although, I do know some foxy old ladies; yeah, I know some old ladies badder than YOU playgirl, lol...)

The bottom line is, don't overdo it and say that beauty has no place in order to be politically correct or to not offend somebody; beauty DOES have its place. For me, beauty is an anesthesia; it helps me forget my troubles and remember the genius and artistry of God, ya know? And yeah, I would love to end up with someone who could give me that sensation every time I see her, no doubt, no hesitation. But in love, that's not my priority. See, I could go blind tomorrow, and after all, beauty is a thing of grace, not even promised to those who have it.

'Great thing about being single tho: I can look at any beautiful woman I want to, and nobody can get pissed about it, lol.

And now you know my REAL motivation for going to school... B-J