Taking Faith for Granted

So I'm in the bathroom chillin. Why? Cuz I'm brontophobic: don't do well with storms. And, as usual, I begin to talk to God to pass the time.

I slow down and evaluate my relationship with Him as of late. It's no surprise that I'm not as close to Him as I once was, though I'm still strong in my belief. So I try to piece together what went wrong.

God is the one being, with a few tentative exceptions, in this universe that I trust, no mistaking that. But it's not the kind of trust that I'd like it to be. Put it like this: I know that God is capable of all things. I also know that God has His own agenda; thus, everything we pray for we don't always receive. But take, for example, my brontophobia; I've prayed it away for quite some years now. It's still here; God hasn't decided to move that from me.

Fair enough. So... I find I'm left with two options: either be at the mercy of this fear for the rest of my life, or try to beat it on my own strength. This is the picture of my relationship with God at the moment. You see, I trust God 100%. But what do I do when God deicdes not to move on a situation?

Well, there's several situations in my life of the same sort; I've asked for help here, help there. I've asked in all the ways I could think of; I've repented and taken all the precautions to make sure my prayers were heard. No dice. So, with my peripheral vision toward Heaven, I make due.

Oh, I'm not an ingrate; I recognize the many things that God does for me in spite of the other things that He hasn't done (yet). And I believe there's a reason for everything, even delayed/unanswered prayers. And I know God has my back when it's all said and done; but I still feel like I'm alone sometimes. I mean, even an occasional visit from an angel would be nice; just something to let me know I'm not really "on my own" in these battles, the way I feel.

Call that a long introduction...

In the midst of the rumblings and all these thoughts, I nevertheless sought ways to conquer what I haven't been able to conquer for almost two decades. Reluctantly, I went back to the Word; I say reluctantly because, obviously, my predicament never changed before, even when I was reading like I was supposed to. Actually, I didn't read this time; I meditated on what I already knew. Something was telling me I needed more faith. So faith is what I meditated on.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen... faith of a mustard seed... move mountains... by faith, Enoch... faith cometh by hearing..."

That's what my thoughts looked like; reciting that over and over in my mind randomly. But I kept going back to that first part that defines what faith is: "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." I thought to myself, "I've read this hundreds of times... I've taught this to my class... I've had it taught to me several times... What is it REALLY saying..." And I began to construct a new interpretation.*

At first, I tried finding another word for faith that might shed some light. For some reason, I kept thinking to myself all day, "I need to give God more credit than this." Credit... faith, plus or minus. Similar concepts there. Credit is something you bank on first and manifest later. I placed a mental bookmark on the thought...

I analyzed the verse again. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for..." WEll, if a thing has substance, then there's no sense in hoping for what's there, right? That's when it first became clear to me; perhaps faith isn't simply believing in what's not apparent. Perhaps it's something a bit narrower: believing in something without actually realizing its manifestation.

Lemme give you an example. Walking on water for instance. To this point, I've believed that faith is believing one can walk on water and then doing it. But I'm looking more closely at it now; perhaps faith isn't in the act, but in the steps you take. Faith is not placing one foot on the water and realizing you're walking on water; once you've realized it, it's not faith anymore because your hope is reality. Faith is placing one foot on the water and, before you realize it, placing the other foot ahead; and, before you realize that, placing the other foot ahead. It's an ongoing extension of credit where you never count the cost, but rest assured that it will be paid; literally "walking by faith" and not by sight.

Then I meditated a little further: "...the evidence of things not seen." The word "of" jumped out at me. "Of" is a word of possession. So faith actually belongs to something; I had always assumed that it belongs to the person that "has" faith. But while faith may "dwell" in us, as it "dwelt" in Lois and Eunice in the Bible, this verse suggests that faith belongs to "things hoped for" and to "things unseen": the unseen God and His promises of things to come. It seems strange, but it's really not so; the moment that any of these "unseen hopes" manifests itself, faith no longer exists. Therefore, faith is in the possession of those hidden things, and it's distributed to those of us who choose to believe in them. And if we receive enough faith, we can experience what we hope for before it arrives, and that gives us proof of the unseen before it is made visible.

Why do I say all this? I'm simply proposing that faith is a thinner line than we give it credit for. I dare say it was that thin line that caused Peter to stumble when he tried to walk on water with Jesus. It's the line between hope and manifestation; you hafta take hope to the next level, but not so far that hope materializes into actuality. So, I'm gonna try working this faith thing again; like I said, I never stop believing, but I always question if I have the right perspective. If nothing else, I've got plenty of mountains to move for practice.


*Side note: this is how I navigate the Bible. I believe that the Bible itself is never wrong; however, a one-dimensional interpretation may provide only limited meaning. So I constantly change perspectives to see all the angles, and every now and then it pays off...


Once Again, Hindsight is 20/20... B-J