Cable and The History Major

Murders in Augusta this year just hit 17; there's a March against Violence followed by a block party/rally in ATL on the 21st, where I'll be giving a speech; an offer was made to me to become a leader of a "tribe" of young men at my church...

And in 5 hours, I've got to cook up a rough draft of my paper for a history class. That seems so... I mean, shouldn't I be allowed to put that off for a less critical time? I've got a lot to think about, a lot to prepare for. Like, THIS IS THE WEEK to get my foot in the door and really make an impact; is the paper really THAT important?

I mean, heck, the truth is a paper is just a collection of already-known facts configured in such a way that presents a new perspective--- connect-the-dots, basically. To do the research, the research must already have been done, right? That's why we hafta learn to do bibliographies to avoid plagiarism; that's why libraries exist.

I often wonder: how much of history is people making history, and how much of history is people writing about people who made history? I'm a history major, but I don't want to write history; I want to make it. And I'm ready to do that... THIS WEEK. But I've got this paper interrupting me. We can't have that...

Nevertheless, I can't afford to flunk this class; actually, I'm on my way to the strongest 'A' I've achieved in years. Guess I shouldn't blow it. Still... that 'A' doesn't matter to anybody but me, and it really doesn't matter to me either. I just want to make a difference, that's all. That's all I ever wanted to do. Why/how in the world does this paper help me achieve anything? ...I find myself asking that question about a lot of things actually.

So far, I've already opted to chuck my original paper topic for something simpler. Why? Priorities: an 'A' for a simple paper is just as sufficient as an 'A' for an over-the-top paper. It's all about the formula: if you meet the professor's criteria, that's all that matters. You're not graded on earnestness, you're graded on jumping through the right hoops. So I've merely traded the time I'd spend creating a one-of-a-kind paper for the time I need to make a difference come Saturday.

Recently I've come to adopt a new favorite superhero. There's a character called Cable from the Marvel Comics Universe. He's got plenty of powers, but the one that stands out to me is his ability to time-travel. He uses his knowledge of history to intercede and make impacts at designated locations to prevent things from happening... sometimes to cause them to happen. That's what I feel a history major should be.

So, once again I find myself seeking a fulfillment that education won't bring me. Because, while we're writing papers on topics to learn the way of academia, a whole reality is passing us by in need of a new wave of cause and effect. And come Saturday, I'm going to follow in Cable's footsteps and supply that.

It's only childish until it happens.