I Still Care...

Even after ten years of delay and denial, frustration and disappointment, suppression and mockery, I still care. I still feel like I'm here to be a doer. And I still plan to make an impact unlike anything anyone has seen in a long time.

Why do I still care? I think I still care so much because... it doesn't make sense not to care really. Look around you: everything you see is a part of your world. If you see clouds on the horizon, in time, those clouds will shower over you; if the sun sets, it's night time for all of us. If a gun goes off in the night, it wakes all of us within earshot.

Each person is an individual molecule, yes. But molecules give, take, and share to create bonds. And those bonds polymerize to form something much greater, just like water. And everyone knows that whatever goes into a body of water, whether a chemical or a rock, affects the entire body.

Caring for others is in the same turn caring for yourself. There's not enough world to go around, so we hafta care for each other enough to maintain the one we've got. Socially, environmentally, it's ours to make work.

When my kids grow up, I don't want them to live in fear. right now, I hafta look out of my own window to make sure the used to be kids-next-door don't thumb through my car at night. You'd think I was living in the projects, but this is the SUBURBS I'm talking about. Gang signs spray painted on streets in the SUBURBS; break-ins and drugs being sold in the SUBURBS. I'm not saying it was cool in the projects, but at least poverty and destitution could explain it; there's not even any reasoning behind it now, except our society as a whole not taking care of its children. I don't want my kids to hafta see that.

I want my wife and I to be able to sit on the porch without a care in the world. But where I'm at, there's teenagers up until past midnight every night "chillin" in the street. The police have been on my street more than enough times in the last few months, as I've awakened to cars peeling off and women shouting and crying.

I still care though. I still feel like I can change something. I know I can't save the world, but I can change something, I'm sure of it. I've stopped associating with anyone who tells me differently. I've prayed and I've studied and I've planned. I see many many opportunities, but I'm waiting on the right time and the right method to come to me. It's taken 10 years, but I'm still here, and I'm getting closer. Any day now, something's got to give.

I've walked away from a few things in my life. This will not be one of them.