Collective Journey

Well... all good things must come to an end. I entered the Sociology department at Augusta State University this semester and met one of the most prolific professors I've had the pleasure of studying under; there were two professors I could speak of actually, but I mention this one in particular because he taught Sociological Theory. While I was gaining all this knowledge and understanding and clarity, I never stopped to realize that, at some point, it would have to come to an end. I mean, I was aware that I wasn't a Sociology major the whole time. But I didn't realize how drastic a change the Sociological Theory class had brought to my life. And now, the class is disbanded.

I was sitting in our final class session today, participating as always. Then the clock indicated that we had twenty minutes left. It was no big deal at first, but then I looked around the room and realized... after this class, I'd be alone again. For the first time, I was in a class full of people that I could relate to--- people who could toggle complicated concepts and interpret them to discover the deeper substances to this life we live. And who, just maybe, cared about something in life.

But, it's over now. I feel... somewhat less powerful at the moment. I know it's only in my head; I have the same potential that I've always had. But you just don't know how NICE it is to be in a room full of people who don't look at you crazy because you can think deeply! And at the same time, they're not always "wowed" by the things you say, because they have their own thoughts too, with just as much depth. I was a student of everyone around me, and I think they all valued my input as well.

Today, this one class felt like an entire graduation. I had the same feeling in middle school, when my friends and I all walked across the stage together, then went our separate ways. We were so lost, but so prepared, ya know? But when it's time to move on, it's time to move on; we can't tarry there.

Here's the clincher: the biggest theme of tonight's discussion was the need for us to change the world together. In other words, none of us can do it alone; the journey must be of the collective. That class represented a collective, in my mind.

Yet, here I am again. Nobody's here anymore but me. And I'm afraid to reach out to my classmates beyond this point. Why? Because... it would crush me to learn that there was nothing more between us than the need to graduate. I like to dream that maybe everyone in that class had their own sincere desire to change the world, just like me. I like to think that within that classroom was a true collective, and not just a bunch of separate interests.

So... this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to continue with my insane march toward changing the world. And I'm going to march with the hope that, once I break the horizon, the collective will be there, not cheering for me, but marching with me.

...Yeah, right. When everybody else was hanging on the stair-stoop after class, I asked why nobody was going home and jumped in my car, haha!

(But then I turned around, went back in the building, walked around aimlessly looking for something. I didn't find it...)


B-(