I'm not a superstitious person; ever since I got saved, I have no reason to fear anything physical or spiritual short of God Himself. And I also realize that everything is under His authority, so even if there are things I might be afraid of, they can do me no harm without His permission.
That being said, I still consider myself somewhat of a... I guess a mystic, to a certain degree. No, I'm not talking magic or anything of that sort; but I do have a very heightened sensitivity to the things around me. I constantly try to see the unseen on many levels--- avoiding the occult, but definitely believing there are unseen forces all around us.
I'm the type of person that picks up on anything, from small sounds to coded signals to false representations. And part of the reason I'm like that is because I'm conditioned to LOOK for these things. Not only that, but I'm also the type that questions everything and believes that everything happens for a reason. It's not that I live in fear of things, but the more one knows and understands, the more power that individual has to control his circumstances.
Anyway, there are things that I take note of that most people I know don't even consider. There are theories I have that I can't prove as of yet, but in my gut I think I'm right about. I thought I'd share some of them; not to create superstition or anything, but just to show how I think about things.
First of all, I'm very sensitive toward and about women, and it's not just in a spirit of flirtatiousness. My pastor once said that God made women inherently more spiritual beings than men; even Eve spent time with God before she was brought to Adam. I really do see the manifestation of that spirituality, even in unsaved women. When dudes have dreams, I laugh; but when women have dreams, I listen. My sister sometimes tells me about the dreams she has, and that's all it takes to send me from a state of calm to a state of red alert.
Even this problem I have of sniffing out married women in a crowd; I've noticed that something about a woman's demeanor changes when she's [happily] married. I mean, I've seen unmarried women get married, and they just become totally different people! The dude pretty much don't change, but the woman's spirit is... wow.
And ya know, maybe women have that sense too. I've noticed that women who normally pay a man no attention will automatically jump all over him if he appears to be with another woman. Heck, I used to have a female friend that I wasn't even DATING; but when we spent too much time together and people THOUGHT we were dating, all of a sudden, I got this influx of women trying to talk to me. And it's bigger than face-to-face, visual encounters; I've seen this happen on the NET! I could be interested in someone on my campus in Augusta, and if I talk to a female friend in another STATE online, somehow she INSTANTLY knows.
Lastly about women; I'm sensitive to them because women pick up on the subtlest of subtle things. It's really humorous to me how women operate in this hidden world, and most men are totally oblivious to it. A homie of mine can be with his girlfriend, and she could be throwing all kinds of wild signals to the SETI satellites of
CREDD-DAY!! with her actions, vocal tone, body language... and these cats just do NOT-SEE-IT! And I'm sitting in the room like, "Dawg, I know you see this right?... I think your girl's plotting to kill you right now... You gotta see it... Please talk to her... Now..."
So yeah; I definitely pay attention to women.
Another thing I pay attention to is children--- the real little ones that don't know how to lie, barely know how to talk. One day a friend of mine brought his family over. And while we were working, his little girl just came over and stared me down. My homie's wife said something to the effect of "she sees something in you" (by the way, this same woman also said, "your house feels warm" when she came in. and she wans't talking about temperature, because it was cool inside that day). It was funny to me because I think children really do see things. It's always boggled me how children will ignore most people, but get absolutely fixated on certain others. And how babies will laugh with nobody in the room, and play with the air when there's nobody in the room; my grandmother used to call it "playing with the angels". And I'm led even more to believe small children, because one thing small children are known for is keeping it real once they can talk; why would it be otherwise
before they can talk? I wish I could see whatever it is that babies and children see...
I'm sensitive about sleep. Biologically, sleep has an effect on the mind. 'Don't believe me? If you think you're experiencing depression, before you go to a doctor, try going to sleep and waking up at the same time every day and getting 8 hours for a whole week. If your depression goes away, don't be surprised.
I used to be a professional sleeper--- I slept with purpose. That purpose was to dream. I've always wanted to understand dreaming. As child, I had all these vivid, animated, colorful dreams; now, I barely dream at all unless I eat something crazy. In my dreams, I've heard music before; music that sounded very similar to music that came out years later. I've encountered people in my dreams; I've experienced levels of strength in my dreams that I've never had in my waking hours. I really believe dreams have much to do with latent things in the human mind, and I would like nothing more than to discover those latent things and control them. To be able to feel euphoria at will, for instance; to be able to close my eyes and visualize someone's face so clearly that I could draw it; to summon enough strength exceed my supposed capabilities...
I'm sensitive to death. I've been in the room with dying people before, several times, recently. Some of the names that you hear when they're near the end... you could almost believe spirits are in the room with them, ya know? (And truthfully, I believe spirits are around us all the time. Heck, once I fell asleep in the den on the couch. And in the early rays of the morning, half-asleep, I saw bodies slowly swirling over my head. And something inside me told me there was nothing to fear; I went right back to sleep, lol)
But it's not the event of death itself that really gets my attention; it's what I call the "course" of death. I'm from the country, so I've heard superstitions all my life. One I've always heard about death: "they always go in threes". I don't exactly buy into that, but I do think death has an "agenda". Because, yes, death usually occurs multiple times in a short period. In my family, in a two year spanse, we lost a grandmother, cousin, grandfather, and my mother in that order. Not only that, but in that time, the father and son next door to my grandfather and grandmother passed away. I can tell you: when you see that much death in such a short period of time, it's almost like you can see the angel of death itself.
In that same time period, I noticed all the celebrities that passed away: Gregory Hines, Barry White, Luther Vandross, James Brown, Gerald Levert, Aaliyah, Left Eye... Don't even bother to trip on me, I know that we're all just regular people. But you've got to admit, you've never seen that many "regular people of distinction" go in a concentration like that. You can't convince me that death doesn't have a... modus operandi of some sort. Not exactly "in threes" maybe, but some sort of itinerary. It's almost like I'm witnessing spiritual movement--- some force underlying the rush of death.
What else...
I'm sensitive to the media. Nothing mystical there, but the media gives me a feel for the world. Nah... not the world exactly. It gives me a feel for the "majors"; basically, the power structure of the world. I don't hafta pay attention or see everything on TV and the Internet; all I need to see is the general gist of what's being promoted. And I can tell what direction the majors are pushing the people.
(And on that note, no, I don't believe the people control the media. Because, while people vote for their favorite videos on TRL or whatnot, it starts with those videos being offered--- by the majors--- and certain other videos not being offered--- by the majors. Marketing and promotion is more than giving the people what they want; it's the power of suggestion evoking the want in the people.
I'm deviatin'...)
I'm sensitive to animals. Like children, animals don't screw around. Animals know when things are beyond their control, and they don't front like things are good when they're not. Animals don't get struck by lightning because animals run when the air doesn't feel right. Earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis, heat storms... animals pick up on ALL of that and fall for NONE of it.
Do I believe in animals being psychic/telepathic? Doesn't make a difference to me; animals don't have a reason to pretend something is wrong when everything's fine. And I think it's a d#mn nice gesture for a dog to bark warnings to tell his owner it's time to get outta dodge. And I don't blame the dog when he takes off and leaves his owner behind either. He did the right thing.
I do think it's possible that animals could be clairvoyant. At the same time, I also think animals, like women, pick up on subtle things that average people don't catch. Maybe the dog isn't "predicting" an earthquake; maybe his paws are sensitive and he can feel the lightest of light tremors that our sneakers wouldn't pick up. Maybe his fur picks up the increased static in the air before a severe lightning storm arrives. Or maybe God is warning all of us, and animals are the only ones who care to hear what He's saying. Who knows.
Expanding from my sensitivity to females, I'm also sensitive to all people. It's not magic though; I was taught God's biblical plan for the family and what happens when that family isn't held intact. So, when I see people conducting themselves a certain way, I can tell several things: their upbringing, what they're searching for psychologically, what they'll do in relationships, and the effect they'll have on their children.
It's not just the Bible though; I understand people because I LISTEN to them. Very basic: I know how to sit down, let someone talk, absorb what they're saying, internalize it, and approach them accordingly by putting myself in THEIR shoes. It's so simple, but SO hard for many people. It really comes down to love; if you love people, you learn how to think of others first and put yourself after.
And when you love hard enough, I'm led to believe you can see things that normally you wouldn't see. There have been times where it felt like I saw "auras" around people, telling me how they were feeling. Or somebody might be on my mind, and I just feel I need to call them, only to find they needed a call right then. Sometimes, I'm the one that gets the call, ya know?...
I'm almost done. Really.
After people, I'm sensitive to brainwashing. Again, I am a person who questions. Everything. It's not good enough that my mom and dad tell me to do something; mom and dad aren't God, so they are capable of being wrong. It's not enough that the President has an initiative; the President got a 600 on his SAT, and I got a 1250. It's not enough that the professor thinks thusly; his view is slanted to his discipline, but his discipline isn't the only discipline.
You can not sit me down and tell me what you think without backing it up with a bulletproof argument. I am a lawyer; I am a logician; I am a mathematician; I am a detective; I am a scientist; I am an inquisitive child. I can't think of any other way to say it. Tradition, political correctness, image, historical monuments, blood, sweat, tears, lobbying, who died for this, who lived for that--- these things mean nothing to me. So if you try to convince me of something without solid backing, I'm gonna call the bluff, charge it to brainwashing, and hit you with the undeniable facts.
And on that note, the last thing I'm sensitive to is God's Word. Ever since I joined my new church, I've had good teaching; now, I'm even critical of my church. Heck, I'm critical of most churches and of many churchgoers, including myself. It's not that I doubt the Word of God at all; it's that I doubt that we're really living by it. Because of my sensitivity to the Word and to things I have learned along the way about Western class and culture, I'm sensitive to that which is of God and that which is of American society.
I differentiate between teaching God's Word and teaching middle class American values. As much as the two are merged, they're not the same. We teach these type things to help people get along in the "professional" world, true enough; but not much of that stuff really matters in the grand scheme, and we can't forget that. You gotta realize: the Bible was written in a TOTALLY different culture. So when we teach, we should always recognize when we're saying things that apply to ALL, and when we're saying things that apply to AMERICANS; when we're saying things that will get you a JOB, and when we're saying things that will get you to HEAVEN.
I go through life with what feels like the ears of a serval, the eyes of an owl. Every little thing has meaning for me; most of the lessons I've learned, I didn't learn in a classroom, but in observation of the world around me. It's becoming a lost art; we don't learn from experiences like we used to. We're lacking both the common and uncommon sense that we need to make a better world. At least, that's my observation.
