The Love of Money is the Root of...CAPITALISM!!?

Ya'll better come get me... NOW.

"In a capitalist society, true love is an impossibility. Because in a capitalist society, love is a commodity."

My professor says this tonight to paraphrase a certain critical theorist... At that moment, I coulda sworn that I had heard the dopest rhyme ever secreted to human ears. And suddenly, it was as if the ink in my pen flooded; words written in unforgivable black and deep enough to swim in.

Ever since I started taking sociology classes, all I've been hearing are my own thoughts from the mouths of professors quoting great men in history. Actually, lemme rephrase that, because greatness is relative to the level of good sense the Lord has blessed you with; I forget that plenty of my potential readers are the good-and-brainwashed citizens of the United States...

Okay, I'll just say it then: I keep hearing my own conclusions being repeated to me from the minds and writings of the Marxists and Neo-Marxists! Yeah, that's right; the ones that most people in the West assume are evil-incarnate. When the truth is, the vast majority of Western civilization lives in a capitalist society and doesn't even know what the f#ck capitalism is, OR communism for that matter; you included, I presume. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you fit the description, then it would be a miracle for you to have something meaningful to say from this point. Shut it.

I was gonna keep this to myself to ponder, because this is some serious sh!t... Three things you never do: you never debate religion, you never debate economics, and you DEFINITELY never combine the two and debate them. Unfortunatley, I ain scared of u muthas enough to respect the rules...

"The love of money is the root of all evil." Biblical, infallible truth. What does it mean? It means that the love of riches drives much of that which pulls us awway from God. Most of the time, we think of it referring to individual attitudes.

...The individual is the product of his society.

In short, America, I'm bout to put a bug in your ear, and if you feel the need to kill me about it, then let the so-called "city-on-a-hill" nation bring it on. The very capitalism that you uphold is the EPITOME of the love of money! It's a system designed to create more and more wealth for the few at the expense of the majority! It's a system designed to waste resources only to grab more resources to create MORE wealth for that upper eschalon! It's a system that is forced to globalize and take resources from other regions to sustain itself! And the majority of the things you do in your lives are designed to maintain this capitalist way of life and thought!

And I'll tell you something else that you're not gonna like; the real reason that the Western world frowns upon anti-capitalist thinking is because we would rather live our lives in the pursuit of riches than risk being economic equals with each other--- it's called GREED and AVARICE, America!! Oh "Christian" America!! America that on one hand says "seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness" and "store up treasures in Heaven" and "labor not to be rich" and "the workman is worth his labor", but on the other hand says "take capital out of the worker's paycheck" and "expend lives in war to get the resources of other regions" and "let's get rich off of the proletariat as we sit high in corporate rank and get paid to not even break a sweat"!!!

Oh, of course America isn't totally Christian; but the understood "civil religion" of America is Christianity, and Christian values tend to be the most widely abused of political platforms; just stick to the script.

Let's be real about it; as much as we as individuals, some of us as Christians, pride ourselves on having the right view on life and/or living a life that's pleasing to our God, our societal lifestyle is FAR from that which we claim! "Man cannot serve God and mammon (money), for he'll either love one and hate the other, or cleave to one and despise the other." Name one thing that you're doing right now that's not for money. How much satisfaction do you get out of the work that you do? How much of what you produce actually comes back to you? How much of your homelife and family life have you sacrificed to bring in the "means to survival"? Who's your provider, your job or the God you profess? Are you even proud of your work at the end of the day, or are you just ready to go home so you can turn your own humanity back on? You're worth more than what you're paid but, somewhere, somebody loves money enough that they feel they're entitled to reap the lion's share of what you've worked for. And this is the capitalism that we swear by, as if it has some religious significance or equivalency to Christianity.

lol... But hey, lemme just get back to this original statement about love being a commodity. Is it any wonder in a capitalist society that we have trouble staying together in marriages? The vast majority of marital problems stem from financial discrepancies. Why? Why should that make a difference? Because in a capitalist society, love isn't about giving, it's about getting. It's about "how much are you worth to me" and "what can I get from you" and "what's in it for me" and "what do you contribute to my life". That's capitalist thinking at work: "nevermind the humanity and the expressions and the selflessness and sentiments; what does love profit me?"

What does love profit me. What does this love profit me. Sounds kinda hoeish, doesn't it? It is. Capitalism takes mans work, his God-given essence, and turns it into marketable labor to imprison him; capitalism takes man's love and turns it into lust, where it is more blessed to receive than to give.

Of course this is all a stretch. The problem is, you didn't think it was a stretch until you read this very sentence. Check your priorities. Take a good look at your world. "The love of money is the root of all evil"; that means, if you start with the evil and trace it back, you'll find the people who love money. You might not wanna finger yourself in public though.

The Revolution Starts With Love B-J

The Mask: A Matter of Respect

Confidence is never a guarantee with me; I'm shy, I'm timid, I doubt myself... but I get the job done regardless. Respect, however... respect is something else entirely.

Do I get respect? Yeah. Because I respect myself. If nobody in the world respects what I do, I respect what I do. And that in itself demands respect.

I also get respect because I give respect. No matter how I feel about what somebody does, I respect what they do; it's their right to do it and to do it well. That generates mutual respect; they might not know diddly about what I do, but the fact that I give them respect leaves them honor-bound to respect me.

But this is the ultimate thing with me and respect: I could give a f--at finger if I get respect or not. Generally, people don't like that because they like to feel that their opinions and inputs are what determine your course of action; mainly so they can take credit for your successes. Not so: I am an independent entity, and outside contributions, well-intentioned or otherwise, will ultimately neither facilitate nor hinder what I'm here for or what I'm about. This attitude too garners respect.

If you want to know real respect, this is what you need to do (metaphorically, because if you do this for real you'll prolly get arrested). Do NOT look for credit; do NOT look for glory; do NOT look for respect. Wake up in the morning, look yourself in the mirror. And take the advice of Chris Rock: just say "f#ck you". Realize that it's not about you. Whatever you do shouldn't be about you; it should be about what or who you represent. And after that, then you put on your proverbial mask: your ski mask, your ninja mask, your bandit mask, your desperado mask, your brown bag mask; whatever your mask is that makes you into nothingness, put it on.

Then, you just go do what you do. Whatever your gift, talent, ability, contribution, you just go out and you lay it down. And that's all you gotta do; 'doesn't matter when or how people decide to use you, place you, rate you... when your times comes just do it and, like Busta says, "do it to death". And when you finish, you dip. And what then? You let your work speak for you and, more importantly, you let it speak for who/what you represent.

Your first and only priority should always be doing a good job that meets your own standards and the standards of what you rep; everybody else's interpretation/appreciation shouldn't even cross your mind. When somebody shakes my hand or pats me on the back or gets in my face, that's all well and good; in my mind I'm saying, "I got no time for this; what's next..."

And this is what respect takes the form of: whether they resepct me or not, they respect what I do, so when next they need someone to carry out the same thing, they hit me up. It's a job, not a show, feel me? Put on the mask, do ya damage, disappear, leave the city in ashes. They won't forget.

Respect? Real respect is the respect you have for whatever/whoever you represent as you do what you do. For me, I do what I do firstly for God, secondly out of love for the people. If the people applaud me, cool; if not, cool--- children don't always like medicine, but they need that. But if I get to the other side, and GOD doesn't applaud me... If GOD doesn't say "well done"...

It's simple priorities. "Life in a vaccuum": you doing you as if you're the only one there. Put ya head down and just grind; cuz, when it's all said and done, you'll find that His respect is the only respect you ever needed and it's the only respect you couldn't do without.

Wear the Mask My Ninja B-J

Dialogue with a Beautiful Alien

I met an alien from a perfect world. She was very beautiful... for an alien. Actually, beautiful period, but that's beside the point; when I met her, I thought I'd ask her all those questions that I've always wanted answered. But she told me I needed to just talk instead. I said, "What about?"

She answered, "The human experience." Wow.

So, it went somethin like this:

"Um... I don't know if I can speak for all humanity; we're very diverse. Actually, I guess I can start there. No matter where in our world you are, you're different than everybody else starting off. Different beliefs, different challenges, different environments. Some of our differences are stupid though. Like, where I'm from you're born into a race, pretty much based on your skin color (it's much more about color than ethnicity, meaning from where you're actually descended). Depending on what color you are, your life could be considerably easier or considerably more difficult. At least to me. It's more difficult for someone like me.

It's crazy because, when we're children, we act like we got some sense; no color lines, no hate. But the smarter we get, the dumber we get. Understand?"

"I... think so."

"If you don't, you will. Trust me.

I could talk about religions and things; I ascribe to a particular one myself, Christianity. But the truth is, religions are much more talked about than acted upon; that's across the board, but especially in mine. Which is one way I know it's the right one, believe it or not...

Anyway, generally humanity abides by rules that allow one human to have a sufficient level of freedom without infringing upon the rights of another. Did I lose ya?"

"Not at all."

"Good deal. Here's where things get a little more complicated. Those rules hafta be created by somebody; there's too many people for everyone to have a say. So, there are governments set up to do the 'saying' for the people. Just like religions, there are soooo many different types of government. Some rule the people with an iron fist; some actually let the people have a 'say' in who 'says'.

Really, I don't care about any of it. I've reached this conclusion; there's only two types of government really: governments of the people and governments of the economy. Some governments seem to believe their countries are firstly money, secondly lives. I think I live in one of those countries, even though it professes so much else. Deception, verbatim, rhetoric... heh; that's another thing about humanity. Right now my country is expending lives at war for capital. But it's not expending capital for lives at home."

"Hm... this is all interesting, but take me closer to home."

"Sure, I live right around..."

"No. I mean, for instance, what do you do?"

"What do I do? I'm a student."

"A student."

"Yup. Actually, I'm a musician and a freelance writer. But... I can't do anything with those until I get a diploma. At least, not without a hell of an effort and several strokes of luck. ...Actually, I'm not even getting a diploma in those areas; it's in history."

"That doesn't make sense. Why history if you're not interested?"

"I am interested... kinda. Because I want to make my world better, I study how it got so screwed up in the first place. That and... The important thing is, I'm doing it because my region is starving for teachers, and history is something that I can teach to make a solid living."

"Economics."

"Exactly. It's like a trap; I can't expand without compromising my time and energy just to break even, ya know? And here's the worst part; in our society, most people work to make other people rich. Nobody gets paid what their worth; barely anyone does what they feel is their calling; nobody's satisfied. Unless they're rich of course; money seems to make everybody happy."

"All right. A little closer to home now. Tell me about the human family."

"Okay. Basically, you have the mother, (the female), father (the male), and children (the offspring). At least, that's how it occurs naturally. In recent years, mankind has gotten creative, so there's exceptions to what's natural. Right, wrong... relative. It doesn't sit well with me because of my belief, but there's a lot of things that don't sit well with me and my belief. Our families as a whole, traditional or nontraditional, are disintegrating."

"That's so sad. Why?"

"I can't speak for the whole world, but I can speak for my country. For one, fathers are being taken out of the home, and, though most don't know it, fathers are the cornerstones of the family. It happens in so many ways... Industrial work took them away, wars took them away, welfare took them away, divorce took them away, cowardice took them away, death took them away. No matter how it happens, it's the same thing; the mother is left to be mother and father; the children are missing a key component in their lives. But they'll live; they'll live to perpetuate the cycle and multiply it as it goes 'round."

"Mmm..."

"That's the root of most of our problems: the breakdown of the family."

"You haven't mentioned your family yet."

"Oh, I have a huge family on both my mother's and father's sides; plenty of cousins and uncles and aunts to go around. As far as my immediate family though, my Mom passed away about a year ago; pops is still around, but he and I don't get along like we should; baby sister--- oh, I'm one of two offspring; I'm the male, and she's the female--- is the closest family I've got."

"Okay. I'm still... hm..."

"What's wrong?"

"I still dont' feel like I'm quite getting a feel for humanity yet. I sense you can tell me what I need to know; perhaps I'm constraining too much."

"Uh..."

"Just tell me what humankind is to you. What it represents..."

"Hm... Hmmmmmmm... Arright. I wish I had some music though, that might make it easier to convey. Humankind... is colorful. Almost very shade that you can conceive captures a facet of humankind. Humanity has adapted to occupy this planet in its entirety; humanity has conquered almost every realm there is to conquer..."

"I can hear the music..."

"Huh?"

"I can hear you, keep talking..."

"...almost every realm humanity has conquered. But humanity hasn't learned to conquer and master itself. We rise and we fall; we conquer the unknown, raise the standard extend our reach. But only to find new ways to defeat and contain and destroy ourselves. And each other; humanity is both society and individual. As a society, we help each other that we all might survive; as individuals we fight each other that we may rule... something. Something that has no worth without the presence and approval and participation of our fellow man."

"It sounds beautiful... Keep talking."

"...As I talk to you, for the first time I truly wonder if humanity is in its final decline. With every advancement, the potential for our own destruction grows significantly. Every rise is higher, every fall is deeper. It's our imperfection, our destructive nature that both elevates us to greater than human; reduces us to less than human."

"Listen to this..."

"...Where--- is that music coming from?"

"It's a gift we have where I'm from: you use instruments; we breathe."

"Wow."

"It's the sound that came to me as you spoke. The melodic expression of your words. Think of it as translation of your English into another language of sound..."

"..."

"Keep talking..."

"And then, there's the thing that truly makes mankind unique: soul. The way we sing and dance and jump and strum and tap and beat and trill our feelings out. And we do it in such a way that we all understand... give me your hand."

"Okay..."

"Just like the turbulent history of humanity, we move, back and forth, around and around, tracing our steps over and over, each time better or worse than before. We flow, we crash, we flow again. And maybe one day the music stops, but until then, the dance continues. I think I'm talking crazy."

"The last time you talked crazy, you found out there was somebody crazier than you who wasn't so crazy, didn't you?"

"Haha... yeah. I shoulda figured you'd know that."

"You've told me what I needed to hear. And maybe what you needed to hear too."

"Yeah... I think I did need that."

"I've got to go now. Maybe we'll dance again another time."

"If you bring the music."

"I don't know... your music isn't half bad for an imperfect being..."



And with that, she was gone. Man that was a beautiful alien chick...

I Almost Believe My Own Fabrication B-J

Tell It Like It Is, %&$*#!!!!

Tom and Jerry used to hit the peace pipe til they eyes turned red...
Popeye and Bluto were two of the most violent men on this earth...
Betty Boop was a freak wit too much body and too little dress who could toot it like a pro...
Bugs Bunny cross-dressed on more than a few occasions...
Ernie and Bert... Hmm... Liked each other so much they slept in the same room...
He-Man and She-Ra were on some chauvanism and feminism out this world...
Transformers used to gangfight...
G.I. Joe was tryna get us to join the military...
Barbie... married Ken like... this year I think...
Shaggy was a hippie... Fred and Daphne disappeared all the time...


But here's the thing: I think I speak for everybody in my age bracket when I say that, when we were kids, we didn't give a flying fudge-fingerolled fig newton frank about it! Nope!

I don't get it people. What don't I get? It's not the fact that we saw all these things and didn't care about 'em that boggles me. It's the fact that, now that we're older, we DO care about 'em! It's amazing that somehow we get more and more sensitive as we go thru life. Meanwhile, we worry about what kids are exposed to, as if they reeeally care, lol.

Don't get me wrong, there's certain things a kid shouldn't see; I'm not discussing that exactly. But what I am discussing is a thorn in my side called political correctness and the like.

I'ma tell ya like this: the things that didn't bother me when I was a kid... they don't bother me now either. I'm trying to understand the process by which people go from being oblivious to something to being overly sensitive about the same thing. I mean, it's one thing if something new is introduced that may be harmful. But I think sometimes we MAKE things harmful by consciously making a big deal about... hold on. I got an example for ya.

When Janet Jackson's tittie (lol, I said 'tittie') popped out at the Superbowl, I'm gonna be honest with you: I was a little shocked, but overall, I figured it was no different than your average bra-less MTV chick 'busting' out of her shirt. Granted, the Superbowl is definitely not the place for a peepshow, but I had pretty much forgotten about it in a few hours.

But guess what? It didn't stay forgotten for long! Because the next day... the next week... the next month... people kept replaying the scene, making more and more commentary, more and more expressing their disgust and angst at the situation. But when I took a step back... I think they actually made things worse. I mean, if you have a kid, and they see something they shouldn't, it's easy to convince them they didn't see anything if they only saw it once for a split-second; but the bigger the issue you make of it in the aftermath, the MORE they're going to see and hear about it. Is it worth the exposure?

People don't seem to realize it off the bat, but press is press. Good press is press; bad press is still press. So when people get bent outta shape about situations, they're really just making a photo-op for the very thing they're trying to suppress. It's like the bad kid in class; sometimes that kid acts out just because he knows he can get a rise outta the teacher, and if the teacher goes for it, the kid wins, regardless of his punishment.

Step back.

I understand that as you grow, you learn the significance of things and they take on new meaning. No problem with that. But lemme ask you somethin; say you're a kid and you're exposed to what we were exposed to; but it didn't corrupt us. What sense does it make to get older and make a beef about it? I mean, you can't say it's a threat to kids because you're living proof that reality and fantasy are pretty... different. Are you afraid of ADULTS falling victim to influence?

Now, I'm not talking about extremities here; of course I'm not gonna let my kids listen to 50 Cent (ladies, don't panic; I don't have any kids, lol). But it's the hair-splitting stuff that kills me. Stuff like people getting mad if you call them Black instead of African-American. "I didn't come from a color; I came from a country." So... somebody, maybe you yourself, thought you came from a color beforehand? And Africa's not a country; it's a continent.

And like when we censor ourselves. I mean, think about it... Why do we blot out words when we know what it is? Not in music or television mind you, because of course you have kids around and such... But real talk. Sh!t. Do you not know what that word is just because I put an exclamation point in place of the 'i'? So, what's the point of putting it there? Shame on me.

Man, sometimes it's like we're so gung-ho about political correctness that we actually create problems. But that's America for ya; built on "Christian" principles, but don't voice or stand for any of those ideals for fear of upsetting people. And speaking of religion, I'll take a note from Taoism that I've always held on to because it's so true: sometimes laws are broken because laws are created. Creating a boundary sometimes just dares people to cross it.

Sometimes we do things like creating laws to meet a legitimate need; sometimes we do that sh!t just to make it hard for ourselves. We create these meaningless norms just to have something to gripe about and, usually, to totally miss the point of something much greater. Denominations of Christianity, perfect example. Whole congregations splitting into new churches because of differences in doctrines, which (surprise) usually have nothing to do with Jesus.

Dude, one of the first blogs I ever wrote was about the late, great Reggie White and how this great man had to apologize for--- get this--- saying that different races contributed different things to world society. Political correctness is so deep that you can't even complement a race for a proven contribution its made for fear of stereotyping. Picture me getting mad because somebody of another race called Black folks soulful. 'Doesn't mean we all are, but enough of us are that I'd consider that a fair statement. Definitely not something to get mad about. But some of us will.

...OH OH OH!! GOTTA MENTION THIS!! U WANNA SEE PC IN ACTION...

Isaish Washington--- I know you've heard this--- is in trouble because he didn't call somebody a faggot. You heard right. The exact statement he made: "I did not call _____ a faggot." <---And that's what he's in trouble for saying. So, he didn't actually call anybody a faggot; he simply said he DIDN'T call anybody a faggot. And now he's in trouble?

C'mon... Be farreal. I did not blow the levees in New Orleans. I did not train Osama Bin Laden. I did not topple somebody else's government. I did not steal the election. I did not leave any child behind.


Come Incorrect for Once... B-J

No Place for Me

I thought I'd try this just for fun. If I were to categorize myself, I'd consider myself a:

romantic-expressionist, anti-partisan, priorist-apriorist, deviance-relativist, practical empiricist, liberal Christian evangelist, borderline Marxist, modern post-modernist, social-reconstructionist, transcendentalist, multi-media artist, multi-media activist, conflict theorist, visionary philosopher.

Sumn like dat.

If you had any idea what I was talking about right there, you'd notice that some of my "classifications" are contradictory. Yes and no. Yes, they contradict each other; no, life is not full of single-faceted issues. Why would I have single outlooks on multi-faceted issues? So now you see why it's foolish to try to categorize someone... sometimes. Most people tend to prefer consistency over rationality, so there are some very sortable people out there...

Way off subject. Or not.

The thing is, I was in class the other day. And my professor stumbled onto the topic of group affiliations: how everyone in society has their niche or whatnot. And he called on me out of the blue and asked, "Who do you affiliate/socialize with?" or something to that effect. The catch was, he was expecting everyone in the class to have a group of some sort; according to Durkheim, society is responsible for everything, but that's another day's philosophy.

I really, really wasn't trying to stand out, I really wasn't. But when I thought about it, I really DON'T have a group that I identify with. Sure, I have friends. Sure, I have belief systems. But just because I associate with people doesn't mean that we have much in common; as a matter of fact, many of the people I hang with spend their time trying to change me because we're so different...

See what I mean?

So I answered my professor, "Um... not... really anybody?" (yes, I said it like a question) My professor then said, "Oh, so you're a misfit then?"

"Big time."

Okay, I've always felt like a misfit. I could go on and on explaining why, but that'll just confuse me as I write this. But yesterday when this happened, it was the first time that I came to terms with being a misfit. You see, (as I'm taking a deviance class, no less) there are people who are misfits because they just want attention; it's popular to be... different? Well, this isn't a diss to them; all I'm saying is that I'm not one of those people.

Put it like this: if at any moment I was to decide not to be a misfit, I wouldn't know HOW to not be a misfit. I was CONDITIONED to be a misfit. In pretty much every aspect of my life, I was conditioned to stand out and be different. I even feel like a misfit to my own self.

As a child, I was constantly belittled and talked down to by my father; that left me with NO confidence, and even now when I do things right, I doubt myself. In school, I had the best grades in all my classes, which of course equated to the best grades overall, which of course caused my name to be constantly in the mouths of teachers for praise and students for ridicule; and actually I even had a teacher call me Steve Urkel once, which was not cool. Even in church as a child I was a guinea pig; anything that no one else's child wanted to do, I was the minuteman. It wasn't exactly anything to be ashamed of, but you still end up being one of the few among the many, ya know? I walked funny, I had big glasses, I talked in complete sentences, I shunned worldly ways, I understood everything, I wanted to change the world... I pretty much did anything you could think of that would make a person say, "he's different". It was molded into me from the jump, and I never figured out how to "escape" it.

My reaction to it all? Withdrawal. I mean, don't get me wrong, I had and still have PLENTY of friends; like, literally hundreds. But, there came a point where I just felt that being rejected and/or praised were the only two options for me; I never figured out how to achieve that middle ground that everybody seems to fall so naturally into. So isolation, solitude, quietness became the thing for me.

But I'm not sad about it. The thing is, with that withdrawal came a sort of "embracing" of what I am. I'm a misfit; I don't always want to be, but at the same time I do. When I look at the majority, I am constantly bothered by what I see. And I realize that it's a blessing to be different. BUT, this blessing has just as much a downside of its own; most everything in life does. The downside is I can't fake being anything BUT an oddball; even when I've tried to be "normal", people that know me wouldn't allow it. "Be yourself," and all that jazz (how can you be yourself when yourself was programmed into being? Durkheim speaks again... Interesting point though: have you ever bought clothes to "stand out as an individual" without realizing those clothes were corporately manufactured with "individuals" in mind?

O_o Whoa, right?)

But again, I'm not sad. What I've found is that, though I'm still a misfit, the attitude of others toward me has changed... somewhat. It went from ridicule to uneasiness to respect. People respect that I'm different, and I've even found a few who see value in who and what I've become. And I respect them too, because I doubt I'm the only "forced misfit" in the world.

Honestly, I have NO idea where my "place" is in the world; it's a very real possibility that it hasn't been created yet. But I'm 23 years old, and to this day I've been okay without much of a place. Or maybe... I've always had a place, and the world around me is nomadic? I say that because, you see, all this time I've been developing and developing; however, there must be security and stability in order for something to develop. I dunno, nomadic vs. agrarian societies, I read about it somewhere...


Keep It Movin' B-J

Healin'

This is a little known fact about me: my immune system is a force of nature. God hooked me up with a nice set of genes. Me getting sick is like W. making a smart decision; it just don't happen enough for serious consideration. If I ever tell you I missed class because I was sick, just look me in the eye for 3 seconds, and I will bust out laughing.

HOWEVER, at the moment, I have contracted a sore throat. Sure, it happens from time to time that I get symptoms; they don't last. It started two nights ago. The fact that it's lasted more than a day surprises me.

Am I worried? lolololol... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... AHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA....ROFLMAO...

No.

I don't get sick a lot, but when I do, I got dat cure for whateva ails me. Prayer of course, but I like to take the active approach to things. I made a pitstop on the way back from class today to my favorite shop--- you know, the one with the old latin couple running it. And guess what I picked up? Dat DG Genuine Jamaican Ginger Beer. U brass-knuckin' right...

I have full confidence that this here sore throat won't last two more solid days. Nothing in the world can stand against my ginger beer, I hate to be the one to tell ya. Before my mother passed she couldn't taste ANYTHING, but she could taste dat dere DG, know dat.

Between my DGGJGB and my green-ginger tea, no sickness on this planet stands a chance. It feels good to know a sure thing; can't say it's been a pleasure havin' ya, sore throat, but it's been a pleasure gettin' rid of ya. Ur barely there anymore after the first bottle, and we've got two more to go hombre!

Adios B-J

I Talk To Myself

Yup, I do it. You can call me crazy, but there's a reasonable explanation: I'm so funky that sometimes I get beside myself, and I'm just SO easy to talk to!

Nah, I'm just miffin witcha. U gotta understand, I live in a house pretty much by maself; lil sis is off in college in NC. So, I find myself having debates with myself. Why? I mean, it's no big deal really; I have debates in my own head constantly. That's how I stay on my toes; it's hard to argue against somebody that already knows your perspective better than you do. And now that I'm in a house by myself, I just find it's more fun to make a spectacle of the debate than to just think it through.

I also talk as I do things often. A guy actually told me on the court one time a few years ago, "When you talk as you play, you seem to play a hell of a lot better for some reason." I think he was right, lol. I think the talking actually makes it easier for me to focus on the task at hand instead of the factors surrounding it. For instance, if I miss a shot and keep silent, I think about that missed shot; if I miss a shot but talk my way out of it, I forget about it and devote more concentration to my next shot. Thus, it has a better chance of going in. And anybody that really knows me knows that I get VERY vocal on defense; you would think blocking shots was karate around me, lol.

I talk when I play video games. It's just more fun to interact with the game and the other players than to just be silent. If I get quiet during a game, that either means that I'm bored or that I'm concentrating waaaaaaay too hard. (Actually, I do a lot of weird stuff when I play video games. Once I was playing a space game and, while flying a fighter ship ,I found myself cocking my head to the side to keep my orientation, lol)

I talk to myself when I listen to certain music, especially old school music. Soulful music makes me reflect on my own life, as well as relate to the life of the singer or the story being told. When I hear Luther Vandross's "Here and Now", I always say to myself, "I'm gonna get married to this song." Sometimes I listen to Eugene Wilde's "Gotta Get You Home" and I imagine the things I would say while dancing to this song with my significant other. And songs like "Diary" by Alicia Keys and "Don't Ask My Neighbors" by The Emotions really strike a chord with me, and every now and then I vocalize that chord.

When I pray, I often talk to God aloud; I'm home alone, nobody'll mind too much. And I find it helps me to be really honest in my prayers, because it puts my rampant thoughts into their normal, daily forms.

One of my sociology professors today declared that, "Talking to oneself does not make one crazy; we think and discuss within ourselves constantly." Of course I agree. What puzzles me more is that people haven't figured it out yet: it's not the fact that you talk to yourself that makes you a candidate for crazy, but what comes out of your mouth that makes you a candidate for crazy.

On that note, did anybody actually watch the State of the Union Address last night?


OWN3D B-J

Marx My Words

Long ago, I shouted into the wilderness, "This is all utter lee bull sh!t..."

Who woulda thunk--- six years after I first entered college and after dropping an English major and Secondary Education minor--- I would take up a minor in Sociology, only to hear my echo return to me...

In class today, FINALLY, somebody kept it real with me and told me what I always knew, but couldn't convince anybody to acknowledge; what I always wrote about and declared in silent shouts. "If you go to college to make more money or make yourself more hireable, you're only cheating yourself out of life for the sake of 'the man' and 10 years down the road you're probably going to be bitter about it and turn abusive toward your children." It wasn't a student who said this, for you so-called intellects who feel that we students don't have anything to say; it was a professor. It was a professor discussing the Communist Manifesto of Karl Marx.

And you know what? This guy Karl Marx... he's not such a bad guy, as most Americans, who barely know what communism means(or their own capitalism for that matter), make him out to be. I've always wondered why people treat economic theory like religion--- like it's a damning sin to say 'communist' or anything of that nature. But the answer's really simple: it's because Western society's true religion is money, and speaking of such radical ideas as Marx's threatens the American dream of accumulating wealth.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not some hardcore communist; I just got to understand where Marx was coming from this week after all. But it's like the ideals that I've held over the years seem to be the end result of the ideas that he set in motion. I guess you could say, since he came before me, that my thoughts pertaining to school and work are a mere echo of his voice.

How evil is that? Well... I believe in working like you do, except I believe a worker should receive the fruit of his labor while you seem to believe the fruits should go to people who sit high and barely do anything at all. I believe in school like you do, except I believe in going to school for enrichment and personal growth while you believe in going there to get a diploma for hire and higher pay. I believe in family like you believe in family, except I believe in strong families where work isn't a hindrance but a part of the home, and you believe in families disjointed by the need to labor away from home. I believe in sacrificing the wealth of the few for the good of the whole; you believe in hoarding as much as one can to himself, knowing most of it will never be used productively. I believe in being resourceful and using resources wisely; you believe in wasting resources to generate more revenue and expanding to new sources when old ones are exhausted by irresponsibility.

Futhermore, I believe the Bible like you believe Bible; I believe when God said, "store up treasures in Heaven" and "labor not to be rich" and "the laborer is worth his hire". But you don't really seem to believe those things, because if you did, then you'd see something is amiss in our way of doing things.

This post isn't me declaring myself a communist, because, like I said, I JUST got the real gist of it within the last 2 days. All I'm saying is that, for once, I actually have some "recognized" support for these wild ideas of mine in the form of a social theory professor and one of the most feared (perhaps unjustly so) men in history. I haven't felt this type of satisfaction for quite some time.

BREATHE, It's Only a Red Scare! B-J

No Competition

I dare anybody out there to try me in any martial-arts based fighting game at any time...

But before you do, I'd just like to say a few words about my No Competition policy. At some point, somebody asked me if I was a competitive person. The answer? No, I'm not. Because there's no competition.

In your mind, you're saying, "Oh, he thinks he's all that, huh?" No, I don't. Lemme explain. When I say "No Competition", I simply mean this: I don't come into anything to disprove anybody. I do my own thing, and that's that. I don't ask for contention; I don't ask for hate; I don't ask for debate; I don't ask for critique. I am my own biggest critic and my own biggest challenge.

So when I say "No Competition", it's like at the playground. You know how kids might be playing dodge ball, and you just happen to need to cross near the game? And you raise your hand up to say, "I'm not playing", but a kid decides to hit you anyway? What do you do? You smash that cat's face in with the ball. Why? Because you told him you weren't playing, and he thought he could force you to play. So you make him regret it and never ask to play you again.

That's how I am; I really am not a competitive person. Ask my best friend, we've been neck-and-neck all our lives, but we've never tried to outdo each other; I respect who he is and what he does, he respect who I am and what I do. Yeah, there have been times when he might have done something that I wished I had done; I responded by congratulating him and pushing him to keep going. Don't know if he's ever felt the same, but if he has, he hasn't contested me about it; he's always supported me in everything I've ever done as well.

But here's the thing about me; if by some twist of fate I find myself sucked into competition, I feel I hafta make a statement. Why? Because as long as I don't make a statement, the competition won't stop. So, once competition is on, I go at it with unnatural rudeness. Why? Because people only compete when they feel they can win; take away that possibility and they lose their appetite.

It's kinda like when the bully at school pushes you and you haven't done anything to provoke him but be yourself; 'you knock that bama out with extra emphasis and I guarantee he won't touch you again. That's not competition that's establishing yourself.

And for me, establishing myself has always been difficult. So, when the opportunity comes up, and somebody challenges me to virtually anything, I subconsciously HAVE TO win. Not so much to put the other person down, but moreso to keep myself established. It doesn't take much for me to doubt myself, so any victory I win I want to be undisputed.

SO, if I've ever beaten the brakes off of you in a fighting game, now you know why. It was nothing personal, but I can't have anybody threatening me at anything that I claim ownership of. I don't have many things in life that I dominate like fighting games, so I hope ya'll understand. And remember, if I beat you, that probably means you challenged me. And the law clearly states that there is "No Competition"; violators will be obliterated in an unreasonable and inhuman fashion with 85%-95% of the round's time left over.

I Withdraw My Challenge B-J

Have You Seen Her?

Somewhere in the back of my mind there's a figure. She's haunted me since before I could see straight, which is the problem...

See, when I was little, there was this girl--- at least, I think there was--- that knew my mom. In my mind, she used to come over to the house every now and again; I think maybe she was a babysitter. She had to be somewhere between, ohhhh, 14 and 20 (that narrows it down >:-P). I was probably only 3 or 4 at the time.

Anyway, this girl is imprinted deeply in my mind; back then, she must've struck me as very beautiful. I can remember her sitting on our old couch, talking to my mom, or maybe a cousin. She was kinda thin I think, and average height. She wore the old-school Salt-N-Pepa, mushroom-style hairdo, and actually was about Salt's complexion, but not quite as light. She may or may not have had glasses; if she had 'em, she didn't always wear em. But what gets me is I can't really remember her face. Like, the impression of it is in my mind, so I have seen it before. But if I did, I had to be relatively close to her; you see, I didn't actually get my first pair of glasses until I was about 5 or 6.

I asked my mom about the girl several times in later years, but Mom didn't recall anyone. I really don't know why I'm so fascinated with this girl because, even if I did bump into her, I wouldn't recognize her 20 years later, lol. She's just a bug that's been creeping in my mind all my life. She could even be a total figment of my imagination, but I find that odd because I didn't get into that lovey-dovey stuff until much later; why would a figment of my imagination trigger those feelings? And wouldn't she hafta be based on something or someone to even exist?

I have one idea of who it mighta been, but the only trip there is I don't think she's ever been to my family's house. But she does kinda fit the description; maybe it was a dream I had about her as a youngin' or sumn. I dunno. Anyway...

Have You Seen Her? B-J

Reinventing the March

I just thought of something earlier today. So I'm back in school, and already we're spending most of our time quoting "great" people. And I stopped and thought about a question that I've been entertaining for years: why do we not have any "great" people of our own generation?

Then it hit me: maybe we don't have any great people because we haven't allowed our predecessors to fall back into memory? I mean think about it... at your average college right now, there's thousands of students learning, writing reports, etc. And 50% of what they say or do has to be supported by the words of someone that came before them. Well... how can somebody ever take credit for an idea that they got from somebody else? Hence, greatness is not so easily achieved.

I mean seriously, that's my whole formula for writing papers. Yes, I include my own thoughts, but the law is 'your thoughts don't have any validity until you get the nod of someone that came before you'. 50% my thoughts... 50% nods from "great" people... boom, completed paper. So when it's all said and done, it's rather difficult to establish yourself because your entire validity is based upon the validity of someone else.

This is a personal thing with me, but I really don't like asking for advice much. Why? I mean, yes, in a sense you end up "reinventing the wheel". In another sense, you end up discovering YOUR wheel. Ownership is a powerful thing. Consider: whoever discovered the wheel probably developed the first use for the wheel, right? And do you know what probably ensued? Whatever use he developed, his peers probably adopted immediately. Copycats.

And copycatting is to be expected; who wouldn't take advantage of an obvious answer to an important question right before their eyes. But just imagine: if all of the wheel-inventor's peers had discovered the wheel for themselves? You probably would have seen a plethora of fresh ideas and uses for the wheel INSTANTLY, right? Because no two people think alike, nor do we all face the exact same circumstances. That whole bit about great minds thinking alike? Bullsh!t. Great minds might arrive at the same CONCLUSIONS sometimes, but I guarantee they don't think alike to get there. And the differences in our thought processes should be valued, because that's what makes each one of us "great" in our own respect.

Then again... I could be wrong...

Martin Luther King Jr. Day is coming up on the 15th. How do we celebrate? We have parades. We get out of school for a day. Etcetera. And so on.

Back during King's day, marching wasn't for celebration as much as it was for protest and progress. But it seems... we've reinvented the march, haven't we? When Martin Luther King Jr. Day comes, everyone looks forward to celebrating. But perhaps, in contrast to what I stated earlier, this is a time when we SHOULD follow in the footsteps of a "great" person. He left us a great foundation, and with each passing year we should be drawing closer to fulfilling his dream.

But--- out of all the pointless, purposeless, theoretical rhetorics that we break our necks trying to understand (despite their tendency to never have true significance in the average life) in order to attain degrees--- we decide to let Martin Luther King Jr.'s be the one that we cease to build upon. We decide to reinvent the march for equality instead of reinventing the bibliography (seriously... what is the serious, legitimate, make-a-believer-outta-me point in having a million different bibliography styles that give you the same information in different formats? and don't hand me what I know you're about to hand me; can't you distinguish subject matter by simply READING it? u know, the way you make US read it? c'mon...)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that everything you learn in college is hogwash that shouldn't be taken into account. I'm not saying there's anything necessarily wrong with quoting people to substantiate arguments and such. All I'm saying is I think we're prioritizing the wrong things in our society: we give too much glory to those of limited significance and not enough glory to those of infinite significance. No, let me put it this way: we give the wrong kind of significance to the wrong people. Perhaps it would be more constructive to quote the people who actually change lives for the better, and have parties and parades for the people who merely make interesting discoveries (that, ironically, we might make and understand better ourselves if we weren't so busy reading about them all the time ;-P).

Mind over Matter; That is the Question B-J

Augusta Is...

I was just thinking right now... I've been writing to you guys for quite some time, and I never really told you about my home city much. Augusta's one of those... actually, it's not. I get the feeling Augusta's the only city of its kind for several reasons. I'll explain more as I go.

Anyway, I decided to give you an incite into Augusta with a list of "is-es" and "is-nots". Shouldn't take long, but then again...

1. Augusta is... the second largest city in Georgia. That's right: not Savannah; not Athens; not Valdosta; not Albany. Augusta.

2. Augusta is NOT... an active city. We're the second largest in size, not necessarily attraction or development.

3. Augusta is NOT... the real A-Town. Lemme put it to you ilke this: if Augusta IS the A-Town, then Atlanta is the A-City.

4. Augusta is... NOTORIOUS for trying to jack Atlanta's swagger. If you're mad, you're guilty. Bottom dollar.

5. Augusta is... possibly the next AIKEN, SC. It all depends on who's in charge.

6. Augusta is... striving to become a retirement city. I'm not saying this because I like it, I'm just echoing the mayor. Don't shoot the messenger.

7. Augusta is... split economically. You've got Richmond County and you've got Columbia county; the poor, undeveloped side and the rich, growing side, respectively.

8. Augusta is... split racially. You've got Richmond County and you've got Columbia County; (you guessed it) the majorly Black side and the majorly White side respectively.

9. Augusta WAS... split by a race war. Just thought I'd throw it in; don't know much about it, but what's there to know, right?

10. Augusta is... the home of subtle racism. But that word subtle is... um... debatable. Would you call having a golf tournament called the Masters 'open' racism, or subtle racism? And then, where exactly does Tiger Woods' ruling it factor in... The point is, there's division, but it's not outwardly shown. It's talked about in households and it rears itself in politics. But the subtlety is slowly changing by the efforts of people like Ryan B., an Aiken-based radio jockey who's very vocal about climate of the area.

11. Augusta is... undergoing urbanization. In other words, more development, more crime. The police force is seeing unusually high numbers of leaving officers...

12. Augusta is... corrupt in politics. Which actually is a dot, because 'politics' and 'corrupt' go hand-in-hand. Most of the corruption is (you guessed it again) race related.

13. Augusta is... James Brown central. Actually, we'll say 'the CSRA' (Central Savannah River Area) so we don't offend anybody. He, like me coincidentally, was raised between the two-state (the CSRA encompasses parts of both GA and SC). Anyway, the killer is the Godfather of Soul called Augusta home, but soul is hard to find down here.

14. Augusta is... the best place to get hospitalized. Sounds funny right? But lemme tell u this: I know a looooot of student nurses coming out of the university and they are... wow. Like, I've never wanted to be injured so bad in my LIFE O_o.

15. Augusta is... right on the Savannah River (if you haven't figured it out).

16. Augusta is... home to Laurence Fishburne. People have told me they see him occasionally at a certain church, which I won't mention cuz you're supposed to be going there for JESUS!

17. Augusta is... the "Garden City". But, there actually is a place called Garden City in Georgia, so don't get confused.

18. Augusta is... a reasonably good place to live... IF YOU'RE 80!!! SOMEBODY GET ME OUTTA... j/k. It's pretty cool overall. And I expect it to get better in years time depending on who's in charge. Right now, I don't have any faith in the establishment, but ya never know who'll get put in office.

19. Augusta is... in need of a theme park (personal suggestion). We've got an empty mall parking lot that should be big enough. And that side of town needs a boost any ol' way.

20. Augusta is... a good place to get an education; Augusta State University charges...mmm $1340 for a sememster with a full load of classes. Beat THAT...

21. Augusta is... an almost perfect blend of urban and rural. When we get some creative minds down here, the almost just might disappear. We just need some buildings with creative construction to give it some atmosphere, and some way to highlight the Riverwalk. Which leads me to my last note...

22. Augusta is... highlighted by Augusta State University. Yeah, I hate school, so I hate to say this, but Augusta State University has undergone a lot of changes in recent years, and it definitely has paid off. The school is beautiful and almost makes me want to come every morning. Now, if we could just get a liiiiittle more PARKING...

Arrighty, so that's Augusta in 22 shots. If you ever come thru, make sure to dig me up; you're not gonna find me, but it'll be fun to try. If you come on campus, you just might see me, cuz I'll be the only guy speaking to people.

STAboyz Represent!!! (I never liked the 'AUG' abbreviation) B-J

Whatever; It's Fresh Air

I'm Optimus Prime, died any number of times... whatever/
Like a transformer, reconfigure and pull myself together/
Probably ran outta patience years ago, but then I learned/
Patience doesn't really matter: ainno rushin' to ya turn/
'Can't feel my heart, so I got nothin to write my rhymes to/
I got peace, but it's a single middle finger times two/
That's right, and sometimes I shoot a bird into the mirror/
But only cuz he's my homie; "reflections may be nearer..."/
The same fears... same addictions... same drama/
'Change of perspective was to a semi-colon from a comma/
Momma, I'm in your footsteps like a teacher and a pet/
But my shoe size is enormous, I'ma make it better yet/
If depression didn't kill me at first, then what's the worst/
If I take it back to high school, watch this heart of mine burst?/
Yes I pray... yeah I know the Son will never go away/
But I ain' playin' in the rain like I control the break of day/
'07 already? That was fast; man I'm stuck in the past/
Give it the gas? How can I drive wit my right foot in a cast?/
I got a fan for Christmas, as I needed any more scrutiny/
It's cool... 'needed every breath of fresh air that it blew to me/


Easy B-J